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“The Dangers of Compliments“
an entry on Project Nemeth.
It was posted at
11:18 pm on 04/16/2008
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life
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The Dangers of Compliments
Here is my predicament: I don’t know when a complimenting crosses the line and becomes flirting. I don’t know when a girl is going to interpret a nice compliment for something more than it is. It makes complimenting dangerous.
Here is my situation: The other night I saw a really pretty girl. I wanted to compliment her somehow [eyes, smile, whatever]. But I didn’t. I was kind of worried that if I approached a girl and told her, “You have really pretty eyes” she would take it the wrong way. I was a little worried she would think I was hitting on her and not actually giving a friendly comment. But then I thought that maybe the flaw wasn’t in the girl but actually in my compliments. Now as I’m writing this I think that’s dumb. Why would a compliment ever be wrong? Its just something nice that you say about someone else, but then I remember hearing about law suits in the work place regarding “sexual harassment”. Some male employee says something [usually in the wrong, but sometimes intended to be a compliment] to a female co-worker, and ends up losing his job for it.
Now I’m not really worried about losing my job, but I would hate to get my self into a situation where 3 or 4 girls all think that I’m interested in them because I happened to compliment them the week before.
So, what should I do? Do I compliment and just run that risk? Or should I stay conservative and use super-generic compliments that in no way could be taken as flirting? I’m not really excited about the latter but the first doesn’t sound too promising, especially if I’m going to have to explain to some infatuated girl that I’m not interested.
I’d love to hear from some girls as to whether or not compliments are commonly taken the wrong way or if it’s just a misconception.
Andrew Nemeth
imho it’s best to be cautious
marty
11:38 pm - 04/16/2008
I gots no idea. Tell me when you find out. My strategy is the cautious one, though.
London Smith
11:43 pm - 04/16/2008
dude.. from my exp. most girls really appreciate a good compliment..
its only flirting if you stick around and keep buggin em..
just be like. “i dont mean to be rude or interrupt, but you have really pretty eyes. i just thought you should know.”
AND THAT IS HOW ITS DONE!
Dr. Love
12:38 am - 04/17/2008
I think there’s two types of flirting, a friendly casual flirting (that’s how I passed spanish III), which would be something you would do with a lady cashier or any female friend that you have.
EX: AWESOME SHOES!!!
TIGERS!!!
DOGNUT!!!
Then flirting with other intentions, which would obviously be more aggressive, I believe complementing the eyes falls into the latter category unless you have the right delivery.
EX: YOU’RE A SEXY BEAST!!
YOU HAVE TIGERS IN YOUR EYES!!
ON A 1-10 SCALE YOU’RE 11!!!
DID YOU JUST CLIMB OUTA HELL CAUSE YOU’RE SUPER HOTT!!!
King
12:51 pm - 04/20/2008
i think it makes a girl wonder, but it more is based on whether or not she would be interested in you. so really you have no way of knowing. sometimes its just in the way you give the compliment. if its nonchalant, i dont pay them as much heed. theres my 2 cents, anyways.
brooke
11:21 pm - 04/30/2008