On Friday I left work around 5:45.  Most everyone else on my floor was gone because a lot of people slip out early on Fridays.  Which explains why the woman at the elevator was surprised to see me when I came around the corner.  I’m confident that she wasn’t expecting anyone to walk up because she had begun to undress.  Nothing near as revealing as it might sound.  She had two shirts on and wanted to take one of them off while she waited for the elevator.

The only problem with this was that she was a bigger woman wearing a smaller shirt.  As she pulled up one shirt the other one followed.  I turned the corner to see a large pasty white belly below a tangle of arms, hair, and shirt.  I quickly looked away and thought about running away but she freed herself from the cotton trap and saw me before I could react.  Her response to the situation was a mixture of unintelligible words and awkward groans.

Thinking that running now would only make matters were I decided to tough it out and work through the experience.  I stood quietly waiting for the elevator.  She must have been bothered by the quiet and felt that it was her responsibility to make the incident less awkward, because she began to make small talk.

“The elevators are sure going slow today”

I just moaned a, “yeah” in reply.  This time making very brief eye contact.

Another moment of silence passed and before she said, “With it so cloudy outside it looks like its going to be cold but I’m told its actually pretty warm.”

My reply was a mixture of “oh” and “yeah” [which doesn't mix well].

The elevator finally came.  Stepping into it I thought I would be escaping the rigid awkwardness of what had transpired, but I failed to realize that she was waiting for the elevator as well, so she naturally stepped onto with me.  We travelled together down 6 floors, 25 yards out to the parking garage stair well, then up 2 flights of stairs before we went separate ways.

I hope I don’t see her for a while,

Andrew Nemeth